A basic skill
Listening can de-escalate tension and is essential to creating a safe space for dialogue.
Listening is more than simply hearing and noting what another person says. It requires presence and empathy. In addition, it requires an attitude of non-judgement. Truly listening to another is an act of service and can change lives.
Mirroring is a skill that can be used by facilitators and by those participating in conversations or meetings. It involves saying back what you have heard – in a short, concise way – to the person who speaks.
Mirroring helps to create clarity and openness and has the important function of slowing down a process when tension or conflict arises.
Summarising involves briefly noting the topics of a conversation or part of a conversation. A good summary also highlights areas of agreement and disagreement. Summarising helps to keep the conversation on track, provides clarity and helps to slow the pace of the conversation when tension arises.
Naming emotions is a pattern for those who take on a facilitative or negotiating role. Its purpose is to acknowledge a person’s feelings and make them feel understood. It involves respectfully and humbly guessing the emotion that the person is experiencing or has experienced.
Perspective questions aim at providing a broader view of a particular issue. It is not uncommon in conversations for people to view a problem from their own point of view. These questions challenge the speaker to step away from their own viewpoint and to the problem from other angles
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This skill is useful in all conversations, particularly where the atmosphere seems to prohibit people from speaking freely. It is also beneficial to help to put somebody at ease and to create a safe space for them, showing that you are interested and wish to hear more.
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