A meta-skill
Thinking inclusively means making sure that no aspect of the whole is left out or ignored. We can use a checklist or a model for making sure that we are not leaving anything out, but in the end, inclusivity becomes a habit – a way of thinking.
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Non-judgement is an essential meta-skill for facilitators and mediators and contributes to the creation of safety for participants and a sense of trust in both the facilitator and the process. Judging or evaluating a statement, an expression or an action as good or bad, valuable or useless, right or wrong, implies taking sides or may be perceived by others as such. View the pattern in the slides below.
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A meta-skill pattern
The meta-skill of being empathetically present is a complement to non-judgment. Together these are sometimes referred to as neutrality.
Being present requires us to focus on what is happening, on what is being expressed. Empathy, simply put, is to place yourself in the shoes of the other, imagining how they see things, how they feel or what motivates their actions.
Combining empathy and presence can have a profound effect on those we interact with. For example, being present in this way while listening, creates a sense of safety and trust.
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A meta-skill pattern
Short In all processes involving human interaction, there is one aspect that is visible to those involved and there is another which is hidden. We can call the visible part of the process the primary process, and the invisible, the secondary process. It is important to be aware of the secondary process because it affects the primary process to a high degree.
When thoughts and emotions in the secondary process are suppressed, this leads to an increase in tension. This pattern considers ways in which you can become aware of the secondary process on all levels of scale.
A meta-skill pattern
Becoming aware of our state of being and responding to others helps us to devise strategies for conversations and meetings. If we are unaware, we risk being controlled by our feelings and old thinking patterns. Awareness is the first step towards actively creating a safe space for conversation and dialogue. To reach this awareness, we need to pause and create space for reflection. There are several ways to do this and several patterns are directly related to creating this space. Knowing what to look for – signposts – also helps us to become more aware – even when we are in the thick of things.
A meta-skill pattern
We cannot be curious and critical at the same time. Switching from the critical (or combatant) mode to one of curiosity helps you to create a more open and receptive tone in any conversation.
This pattern links to the following patterns: